Recently, he ran up to my friend who was pushing her daughter in a stroller and said, “I help push Mia.” In addition, he would say to the other kids, “Watch out! Goya's etchings describe the horrors of war in grotesque detail. We are Brave: I think you can be serious and laid-back, too. Be true to yourself I am smart. (Like polite. All of this starts at home with what we discuss at the dinner table and what we model in our daily lives. affection – words and hugs. It came quite easily, because it is actually my mom’s maiden name! Ahem.). Additionally, we’re wanting our daughter to be protected against eating disorders and some image/perfectionist issues we’ve struggled with as adults. Our family is forgiveness, service, kindness/cheerful. Every night, my mother had us come to the dinner table prepared with the best joke we’d heard that day. What a great idea! Thanks for the food for thought! I love posts like this, your story about Linsey and the brownies…tearing up over here!! My kids are 2 1/2 and 3 1/2 so those are the values dominating my hopes for them right now/ the values they motivate in us as parents. Maybe they will be the same. This is a good one. We just took our kids (2 and 4) to Disney World and the bickering from the back seat got to me and I impulsively yelled out “happy voices and kind words!” Everyone laughed at me and it dispelled the tension. But also judgmental, short-tempered and stubborn. It feels like we have a head start on a lot of hard discussions simply by asking ourselves, “does this align with our mission statement and core values?” If it does, great! In order to grow our small business, Cup of Jo earns revenue in a few different ways. And thats kind of wonderful. Of those, I’ve been thinking a lot about generosity a lot recently. haha. She shared a story how one family did this exercise, first defining families they knew – “They are the family that rides horses’ ‘They are the family that travels’ ‘They are the family that helps out’ and then their own family. My son is still home with me so this is all new to him. But out of these adjectives, my family growing up emphasized creativity, knowledge, and caring, and I find that these are three attributes I highly value in my partner, friends, and role models. The direct object goes first. Before we check out the list of the most commonly used English words, let’s quickly go through the reasons why it’s important for you to build your vocabulary. i don’t have kids yet, but my husband and i are very intentional about creating the type of family we want even before kids are part of it, so that once we have one, those norms are already set. I’m appreciating this conversation and hopeful that others will also feel empowered by identifying their strengths and values as a family. I think our words would be “integrity, openness, humour”. Almost makes me wish that I could have that learning experience for my children but also a sign that I’m not looking hard enough :), “Not perfect” – what a pressure-reliever. Always find the humor. It is: We are Caring: Initially I just thought “SLEEP” but with more thought, I have found myself saying that “we can do hard things”. ), Just another angle. and i’m so sorry to hear about the incident at the playground. Compassion and kindness is a huge one for my family. When my brother-in-law died two years ago, I immediately booked a flight to San Francisco for the next morning. Speaking of your friend Linsey, I loved her home tour when you first posted it. I’d say that my family’s traits are: adventure, love to learn and emotional (for better or worse!). The next day the sign was replaced with a huge board simply saying ‘Thank You to all of the strangers who have offered us kindness, you have made the loss of something very dear easier to bear’. It’s one of my favorite accomplishments :). Thank you for reading. If you work hard, you can feel good about your effort at the end of the day regardless of the outcome. We’re hoping to raise her with a fiery sense of self and a steadiness that defies some of the external pressures of our culture. Recently I moved into a new apartment and my sister came over to visit. I’m still a little too young to have my own family haha. My top strength is strategy, which I had always considered a given and never realized was a feather in my cap before the test. You can’t control what happens to people, but if you can make them smile (or to quote Maya Angelou ‘be the rainbow in their cloud’) then you have done your best. I kept using it as my new mantra when we needed it. we are big on intentionality, kindness, and curiosity. Haha love this! There were also words like controlling, poor listeners, and opinionated, which were not without truth. What a great conversation. I have 3 boys: almost 4, 2, & 3 months. My husband and I talk about this all the time, the words we use to describe how to act and what to do every day. I can make the world a better place. And Jill- I feel the same. Angry One story I remember is that they went to go buy a TV at an electronic store and my father told the salesperson that they would be back the next day to make the decision and finalize everything. A table stands on four legs, can we pick four? Awe this is so great, I love it Love this post! I admire your family values so much. And there’s something about forgiveness that’s so big and yet so forgotten. meeting, conference iwi tribe kai food kai moana sea food kapa haka a cultural festival or music and dance ka pai very pleasant, good, fine karakia sung prayer or welcome kaupapa policy or principle, credo, methodology or theoretical foundation kāwanatanga transliteration of the English word "governance," sometimes mistranslated as "sovereignty." After some thought their eight-year-old volunteered: “We’re the family that watches TV!”, (In that particular case, the parents saw the truth of it, happened to feel appalled, and made life changes to create a different family culture. As we are pregnant with our first, this is a great conversation starter about what’s most important to us and to our family. For me, seeing who we ARE was helpful, but in the day-to-day I work with ideals I WANT us to be more. My niece got caught up in that too; despite being a famous model, she opted to study hard and as such is starting med. The second is minimalism. “Trust” or “loyalty” would be top for me, because I want our family to be safe and dependable for those in it and for friends of our family. A typical example would be two people meeting each other against all odds and finding out that they were almost destined to meet. From one Jaclyn going through a divorce to another, you will get through it! Your posts prompt me to think and reflect all the time, more than any other blog. i’ve found that to be one of the hardest (maybe THE hardest?) Even now my parents have had their own financial struggles and issues with mental health they are still the kind of people who would never turn away a friend in need. This is 100% different from my upbringing, so there’s a lot of hard work put into this. You aren’t the only one. After reading this post I think my family needs to focus more on service. Kindness/respect is at the top… kindness/respect to each other and to everyone else, I also grew up in a house where if you committed to do something, you gave 100%… my mom would always say that if something was worth doing, it was worth giving it our all. For example, when trying to decide or agree on where to spend resources, it helps to ask questions like “How can we invest in experiences for our family that open opportunities for adventure and service, rather than just accumulate more ‘things’?” We even had a graphic designer friend design a poster of our mission statement that we have framed and hanging in our house so we are always reminded! I love both our sides of the family to bits, but I think it’s time that my hubby, me & our little Oliver define how we want to be described. Growing up I felt such pressure and shame that my family wasn’t like other peoples seemingly “perfect” families, but now I know that nothing is perfect, there is no such thing as normal, every family is messy and chaotic in their own way. I think my family’s core values would be, But growing up under my parents’ roof it was probably: cleverness, loyalty… and maybe exclusivity. Before we go to friends’ houses, we’ll talk about how everyone needs to be included, even the littlest kids. We often talk about patience, persistence, and working hard. curious to try it. Oh man. Welcome! He had a heartbreaking look on his little face… Mostly I look back and wonder as a parent in the situation (the other kids’ parents weren’t nearby), should I have done or said something?! I’m Not What ADHD Is ‘Supposed’ to Look Like. I divorced my husband of five years in December after being separated for a year. When I was growing up, our family motto was the musketeers: all for one, and one for all-we always stood up for each other and had each other’s back. The SCQF Level Descriptors describe in broad terms what learners should be able to do or demonstrate at a particular level. * We go to college. How Would You Describe Your Family in Three Words? that’s so self-aware and inspiring. my husband and i both are, and love going down internet rabbitholes on certain topics or listening to NPR about anything. We are proud of who we are, we take action in our community, and we speak up for others. Words can be so powerful, especially to those little ears. Growing up our family was probably: passion, perseverance, athletics, and integrity. Work hard and believe that you can do it. this is really interesting! My husband and I have three kids; our oldest is 3.5 and then we have twin girls that are just 7 months. We are both remarried, with additional kids (one each), and work hard to do what’s best for the kids. I know its an odd example, but I was raised by people who taught me this was how you should react to anyone’s suffering – with unfailing compassion and kindness. When my daughter finally succeeds at “showing her work” on a math equation, executes a perfect cartwheel after weeks of practice, performs a kind deed without being asked, I say “Penny?” and I wait until she looks up at me. I can almost always find common ground with strangers, and I like making people feel comfortable in my presence. Words can be so powerful, especially to those little ears. You have a booty-face and you can’t play here!” My son just sort of stopped and stared while the other kids started to repeat what the first one said. My family is going through a great drama where family members are divided and not speaking to each other, due to mainly one person. That is lovely! I don’t know why I started saying it. your comments are so helpful and i am definitely uplifted by everyone taking the time to respond and reach out in a positive way. your mom sounds awesome. This is such a timely post for me. I can’t wait to discuss with my family. yes! Even his allies describe him as forceful, aggressive and determined. I’m an Ambitious 31-Year-Old Woman. Flipping through it, I saw a chapter about figuring out your family’s core values. Pimp is not a new word; it has been used in English since at least 1600 to refer to a criminal who facilitates liaisons with a prostitute. And what an inspiring way to move through the world. I promise to listen when you speak, good you tight when we are walking because, there is something awesome … Sending you a big hug and lots of love from Oregon. Playing superheroes is his favorite thing and a group of kids maybe a year older than him were running around playing. It has never been considered a polite word. But we’ve never really discussed it. Be Careful!When you use describe with an indirect object, you must put to in front of the indirect object. Gratitude I think about that word every single day. those three words are beautiful. She wanted to cultivate a sense of humor in us, and not just because she wanted us to be “funny” but because she wanted us to be able to laugh at ourselves and not take life too seriously. That is a totally different bird. We have a 2.5 year old and a 10 mos old. We wanted to have a clear and simple framework that would reflect our values and guide our decision-making: “We are Light Shiners, Mountain Movers, and Adventure Creators – Committed to Living a Story Greater Than Ourselves.” Now, whenever we approach a decision or struggle finding a solution to something we are dealing with, we can reflect on this framework. That is thought provoking -in a gentle way! For my fiance and I, I’d say: growth, trust or loyalty, and teamwork. Some days I feel independent, strong and brave. If we all just did a little bit more good… It’s an exciting thought! Two of us actually have a “noble soul” tattoo! The good traits for my family would be: loyalty, grittiness, independence (my parents were insistent on us learning how to take care of ourselves and not just focus on school for example), The tough traits: stubborn, dramatic, tendency to overcomplicate plans (we seem to be able to build successful careers but totally cannot coordinate smooth pick-ups/drop-offs, waiting for the sears guys, etc. I also really want my kids to be open-minded, tolerant and generous (we live in a very conservativ and individualistic part of our country and I feel rowing against the tide very, very often). (I think we have gallantry covered;). and also you have lots of time for big adventures once you daughter grows a bit! Be kind and forgive. I love this! Thank you for such a great post Joanna! In my nuclear family, I hope to retain some of the strengths, but also to grow past some of the weaknesses, to be more compassionate, listening, seeking more opportunities to serve others, and valuing the inherent worth of others while seeking to understand their perspective. Working hard, being deliberate with choices. Distinguishing Between Adverbs and Adjectives . It’s a HUGE rule in our family — no one should feel left out or made fun of. This sounds so much like the Strengths Based Leadership test, which is a personality test that spits out 5 of your greatest strengths, much like the ones you’ve listed here. Inside were homemade brownies and fresh clementines for me to enjoy on the flight. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Neither one sleeps through the night. I never quite realized the strength of these stories, until I read your post today! I love my lil fam. Other days I feel vulnerable, lonely and tired. I’m so glad you commented – you are not alone, even though it might feel like it sometimes. When my son was younger, we discussed family mottoes and decided that ours would be based on a line from Gladiator. We jokingly call him “honest Abe” but I definitely carried that with me into adulthood. Whether it is someone who cuts us off when we’re driving, or someone who responds negatively, or…. I think our family is now a combination of those two families of origin and our relationship: energetic, creative, a love of learning, demonstrative, bold and grateful. They need to know it’s not all about them and they have to push forward and they must work hard and be determined, NO MATTER WHAT. Since he’s still young, I haven’t pushed him to share or be kind, so I’m quite impressed with how thoughtful he is. I’ve always known I was a great idea creator, but would never have told someone that my greatest strength was ideation. ;). It didn’t have to be THE best, just MY best. Everyone wants to feel acknowledged for their efforts. These comments make me feel like the world is going to be ok. That’s super important to me. my parents went through a tough divorce went i was 11 years old, and i remember them being loving, supportive and communicative with us during that time. And if you could be funny, you’re in. knowledge – know more to be more aware Inclusive My in-laws will always err on the side of positivity (often leaving out or avoiding the hard bits or negative conversations), whereas my own family want ALL the details, share all the good AND bad bits and discuss it at length. Linsey. روښانول، تشريح كول، غټ غټ ټكى څرګندول، بيانول, Dictionary, Encyclopedia and Thesaurus - The Free Dictionary, the webmaster's page for free fun content, describe (someone or something) as (something), describe (someone or something) to (someone or something), describe (someone or something) to (someone), Describe Express Assert Reinforce/Reward Mindful Appear Negotiate, Describe, Determine, Implicate and Direct. Then I look into her eyes and I say, “Color me impressed.” I want her to always work hard at impressing me, and ultimately, herself. Tomorrow is a new day. This reminds me of the book, The Five Languages of Love. I remember my father telling me that “perseverance has a final prize” if I can translate it this way. My folks always insisted that all meals be at the dining table and my favorite childhood memories involve the 4 of us, around the table, sharing stories. I love meeting new people and learning about their lives and their backgrounds. It’s incredibly painful. Emily, I love the idea of a mission statement (and also having it designed and framed). http://www.themixturesat30.blogspot.co.uk. *Resilience and persistence – trying to instill a “pick yourself up and brush yourself off” approach for the rough patches that they might encounter. In other words, serve guests first. I just asked my husband his thoughts and he immediately responded with: My parents got divorced when I was 17 and it was very hard. My husband and I both have things about each other’s family that we love and try to incorporate. We sometimes get caught up in our pride as humans and forgive in a shallow way or we forget to truly forgive, which can cause bitterness. A topic my husband and I revisit often as we raise two little citizens of the world. Tired We’re really just starting our family. Made me think of this modern love column: https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/10/style/modern-love-when-a-mom-bullies-back.html?_r=0.
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